Country Girl

She’ll have bright eyes
And highlighted hair
That girl will be kind
And will treat me fair

I like a good ol’ gal
Who likes to have fun
She’ll be my best pal
But she’ll be the one

Who’ll go out on the dance floor
With her girlfriends in the bar 
In public she’ll be a sweetheart
At home she’ll be my superstar
I’ll take her anywhere for kicks
Even a carnival tilt a whirl
With a goofy grin on her face
Oh, but she’s gotta be a country girl
Yeah she’s gotta be a country girl

She’ll love her horses
At her Daddy’s farm
When we’re on the town
She’ll always take my arm

She’ll be sentimental
And share her fond memories
Of all the good times she’s had
With the sisters from her sorority

She’ll head out on the dance floor
All eyes’ll be on her from the bar 
Everywhere she’ll be a sweetheart
And she’ll be my superstar
I’ll take her anywhere for kicks
Even the Boardwalk tilt a whirl
With a goofy grin on her face
Oh, but she’s gotta be a country girl
Yeah she’s gotta be a country girl

Wearin’ those high rise jeans
And loves her broken in boots
She’s good friends with Mama
And she’s proud of her roots
Family’s important to her
And her friends are too
She’s obsessed with Leann Rimes
And her favorite song is “Blue”

She’ll out drink me at the bar
And she might be a pool shark
Everywhere she’ll be a sweetheart
But she won’t be a walk in the park
I’ll take her anywhere for kicks
Even a State Fair tilt a whirl
She’ll have a goofy grin on her face
Oh, but she’s gotta be a country girl

Yeah she’s gotta be a country girl

August 13, 2021

Rich-Rich Redneck

You’ve got a Range Rover in the garage
A couple beat up trucks in the drive
You go huntin’ on the weekends
And you’ve never had to strive

It’s clear you’ve got your own bank
You’re livin easy and runnin’ free
You’re a Rich-Rich Redneck
And you’re not fooling me

Your man cave’s a movie theatre
And you built your own car wash
But your beer is cold blue ribbon
And you stink like fish by gosh

You’ve got a gun collection
Your Mama’s name is Midge
You’re a Rich-Rich Redneck
With moonshine in your fridge

I don’t wanna know you made your money
But damn, dude – you’re outta control
You’ve got so much crazy crap everywhere
It’s like you sold your body, mind and soul

With what you’re doin’ I know one thing
I could learn a lot of lessons from you
So what do you say can you teach me
to be a Rich-Rich Redneck like you?

I wanna have whatever you have
The secret you hide not so well
I wanna live a life like you do
Without havin’ to buy then sell

Maybe you invested in land or inventions
Maybe you’re dealing in heroin or cocaine
What’s that you say, you created it all
Using imagination and your pain?

So just from writing about my heartache
And recording it for the world to hear
I can be a Rich-Rich Redneck like you?
That sounds like a helluva career

That sounds like a helluva career!

October 1, 2021

Old-Money Man

She wanted an old-money man
one who wore a uniform
She wanted an old-money man
Someone who’d keep her warm
Someone who’d wear a silk tie
Someone who’d wear pricy suits
She wanted an old-money man
Not one who wore muddy boots

Well, I’m not an old-money man
I’m a denim and flannel guy
Yeah, I’m not an old-money man
I love sunsets and rhubarb pie
I love workin’ with my hands
and hangin’ at the corner bar
and I’d rather be drivin’ my truck,
than some fancy sports car

So, imagine my surprise
when I looked into her eyes
and she looked into mine
She decided right then n there
I was a breath of fresh air
and threw out all her vintage wine

Now, I’m not her old-money man
Turns out she’s a country girl at heart
Nah, I’m not her old-money man
Yes indeed, it’s ’til death do us part

Yeah, imagine her surprise
when she looked into my eyes
and I looked into hers
She chose me right then n there
I wasn’t rich, she didn’t care
We’re in for the better or worse

No, I’m not an old-money man
I’m a denim and t-shirt guy
Yeah, I’m not an old-money man
I love farming and apple pie
I love workin’ with my tools
and beers on Saturday night
and cuddlin’ on the couch
and livin’ just a normal life

Instead of livin’ in Boston or New York
We’re happy raisin’ kids on our land
And I’m grateful she chose me
Instead of some old-money man

Instead of some stuck up
old fart and old-money man

August 23, 2021

Country Club Members

When I met her, I didn’t think I’d end up
being her boyfriend in the wings
She didn’t tell me she was married
She wasn’t wearing her wedding rings

It was out at the tennis courts
we were on a mixed doubles team
She had the scent of wild blueberries
It was like she stepped out of a dream

And boy, did I fall for her
We’d talk about everything
She listened to me
I listened to her
Thinking we’d end up to be
together for the rest of our life
I’d be her heroic husband
and she’d be my dreamy wife
as Country Club members
making bank like they all do
Then something happened
I got an urgent call from you

You knew her and her husband Jim
Turns out you were a mutual friend
I stood there while on my phone
And all I could do was think of when

We sat there in the sun getting lunch
And no one there said a damn word
Man, did I feel so hurt and taken
Man, did I feel like a big ol’ turd

Wow, did I fall for her
We’d talk about everything
She listened to me
I listened to her
Thinking we’d end up to be
together for the rest of our years
I’d be her heroic husband
through all our trials and tears
as Country Club members
like my parents and hers, too
You said you were with him
and found out he already knew

So I had a sit down with her at the club
We had a “Define the Relationship” talk
Then we kissed after it was all over
and went down to the beach for a walk

Boy, did I fall all over again
They didn’t have what we had
She was counting on me
I was counting on her
Planning out what we’d end up to be
Together for the rest of our life
I’d be her heroic husband
and she’d be my forgiven wife
as Country Club members
like my parents and hers, too
And you, Jim and her and I
could end up in love that’s true

Oh yes you, Jim and her and I
could end up in a love that’s true

August 20, 2021

Etiquette Nazis

There she is at the dinner party
Telling them all how to behave
There she is at the dinner party
Doin’ that Princess Wave

There she is at the dinner party
Giving orders like an Uppity Dame
Expecting everyone to be Preppy
Expecting everyone to be the same

Somebody tell the Etiquette Nazi
Somebody tell her she’s all wrong
Somebody tell the Etiquette Nazi
Somebody tell her about this song
Somebody tell her we’re all different
Somebody tell her no one cares
Tell her someone blew chunks
At the bottom of the marble stairs

There he is at the Frat mixer
Telling them to use a coaster
There he is at the Frat mixer
Acting like a covert boaster

There he is at the Frat mixer
Sippin’ on his Chardonnay
There he is at the Frat mixer
Not impressed by what we say

Somebody tell the Etiquette Nazi
Somebody tell him he’s all wrong
Somebody tell the Etiquette Nazi
Somebody tell him about this song
Somebody tell him we’re all different
Somebody tell him he’s out of place
Tell him he’s dressed too polished
And he’s got a punchable face… Hey!

We’re all wearing flannels
With worn-out denim and Vans
They don’t like the finger food
But look at them holding hands
Look at them holding hands
Look at them holding hands

Somebody tell the Etiquette Nazis
Somebody tell them they’re wrong
Somebody tell the Etiquette Nazis
Somebody tell them about this song
Somebody tell them we’re all different
Somebody tell them no one cares
Oh, and tell them someone upchucked
All over their Grandma’s chairs

Yeah, tell them someone upchucked
All over their Grandma’s chairs

July 29, 2021

Behind the Lyric: You’ll discover I’m a big fan of the website TV Tropes. It’s actually a great resource to any kind of writer’s device possible and it really provides a shortcut to ideas, which I am a fan of now. So this one is inspired by a specific trope called: Etiquette Nazi. Check it out!

Prove You Wrong

You don’t think I really love you
You think I’ve one foot out the door
You don’t think I really love you
You think I think you’re a bore

But I gotta say
Oh I gotta say
I bet I could prove you wrong
Yeah I’m gonna stay
Oh I’m gonna stay
That’s why I wrote you this song
In my heart you’ll still belong
I bet I could prove you wrong

You don’t see yourself with me
After all is said and done
You think I’ll meet somebody else
Who I’ll also tell she’s the one

But I gotta say
Oh I gotta say
I bet I could prove you wrong
Yeah I’m gonna stay
Oh I’m gonna stay
That’s why I wrote you this song
In my heart you’ll still belong
I bet I could prove you wrong

You can keep playing hard to get
But I will never give up on you
Yet you keep telling me I can’t
I can’t make your dreams come true

But I gotta say
Oh I gotta say
I bet I could prove you wrong
Yeah I’m gonna stay
Oh I’m gonna stay
That’s why I wrote you this song
In my heart you’ll still belong
I bet I could prove you wrong
I bet I could prove you wrong

I bet I could prove you wrong

July 19, 2021

The Me From Long Ago

He was the kind of boy who’d
practice more than go on dates
He’d work on his serves and strokes
Rather than hang with his mates

He’d spend many hours and hours at
The club working out to be & feel great
Wondering if being a teaching pro
Could end up as his fate

That was the me from long ago
When you see me now as I am
You would never know
I was the Prince of the court
Trained with a great tennis coach
I didn’t allow others to get close
That was the me from long ago

He knew some girls he wanted to
take out to the basketball games
But he didn’t have a lot of courage
And I’m not gonna name names, but

There was one who caught his eye
And he tried and tried and tried
But at the end of their first Prom
He messed up bad and she cried

That was the me from long ago
When you see me now as I am
You would never know
I had no game with gals at all
Next to them I felt so small
I was full of worry and woe
Yep, that was me from long ago

Through the years he changed
Into the man I am today
And now I’m here to tell you
I’m glad I went all this way
To get out of that town
To go work on myself
And learn as much I’ve learned
For a life I know I earned

So if you think about who I was
I am different from those days
I stopped playing tennis years ago
But I’m a sucker for the latest craze

Went with my heart & wrote instead
Then everything fell into place
And that’s why you’re seeing this
Big ol’ smile that’s on my face

You see the me from long ago
Is not the me I am today
My both knees are damaged
And God knows I want to play, but
I’m better off staying creative
And that’s all I’ve got to say
About the me you now know
And that me from long ago

About the me you now know
And that me from long ago

From long ago
From long ago
From long ago
From long ago

July 14, 2021

She Knows How

She does the dishes
She folds the clothes
She manages the home
Dinner delights my nose
Oh, it’s plain to see
She knows how
To get a rise out of me

She picks up the kids
And doesn’t complain
She cuddles close
When it starts to rain
Oh, it’s meant to be
She knows how
To get a rise out of me

She loves her Mama
She loves her Daddy
When I’m in the rough
She’s my caddy
And she grabs my club
And tells me to
Put it in the hole
And I do, Hell yeah, I do…

When I’ve had enough
She brings me a beer
And she whispers softly
In my eager ear
Soon enough,
I’m flying free…
How does she know
How to get a rise out of me?

She sure knows how
To get a rise out of me

July 4, 2021

The Quiet Hearted Soldier

The wind blows her Carmel Valley hair
She sees me longing for her there
Oh but, I’m a soldier with a quiet heart

I’m the boy at the end of that night
Who’ll do all he can to treat her right
Who needs a little bit of a kick start

Like sincere words she won’t regret
A soothing smile taking on the bet
I’d kiss her back as we stand at her door

I hope she feels the same as me, oh
And if she does, I hope to see, and
Hear her say she’ll miss me when I go to war

It’s different now, guys are cruel, they’ll
Adore you in private, ignore you in school, and
don’t realize girls don’t like those games

They act like macho guys with their pals
Then are intimidated by the aggressive gals
On the phone, they mix up all their names

But she’s known me all those years
And I’ve never brought her to tears
Oh, I don’t want to see her break and cry

I hope she knows I want to be there, when
She’s feeling nobody shows they care
I’ll do what it takes, and she’ll know why

Those sincere words she won’t regret
That soothing smile taking on the bet
I’d kiss her back as we stand at her door

I hope she knows I’ll always feel the same and
dream of the day when she takes my name
And overjoyed when I come back from the war

So overjoyed when I come home from the war
So overjoyed when I come home from the war
For her husband, the quiet hearted soldier

June 11, 2021