Tall Drink of Water

What’s a tall drink of water doin’
With short, fat, balding me anyway?
Why does she want to be with me
Until my final dying day?

I’m not rich, handsome or suave
In fact I’m a bit of an obnoxious slob
Who likes hot dogs & corn on the cob
She stays instead of running away

What’s a tall drink of water doin’
With this stinky, disgusting man?
Does she think I’m a fixer upper, and
I’m like eggs in a pan

Who aren’t much when fryin’
They just look like they’re dyin’
Then after all the pain & cryin’
They transform as best they can

To a hearty breakfast out at Cape Cod
Where locals give each other a head nod
They say the food is amazing like the view
I mean, I’m not even well-to-do

What’s a tall drink of water doin’
With a mess like me, it’s weird
Why does she think I’m special
To me, it’s not so clear

I’m not like the men from the city
I’m far from groomed or pretty
Maybe it’s all out of pity
I’m not Brad Pitt or Richard Gere

I’m like a mix of a broke bum on a street
That red flag guy you never want to meet
Who’s bitter, and she loves me even more
What’s that tall drink of water with me for?

What’s that tall drink of water with me for?

April 13, 2021

Another lyric I think would be good for a project I’m creating called “Goomba Town.”

Soon, You’ll Have Tacos

We were driving in the middle of nowhere
With the windows open and I felt her stare
We were starving and she wanted Taco Bell
I couldn’t agree more, I wanted it as well

I said soon,
Babe, soon
Soon, Soon
Soon, Soon
You’ll have tacos
Oh yeah –
Soon, you’ll have tacos

The sign said the next town was miles away
Her hungry stomach told her it wasn’t ok
Not even a Snickers would change her mood
Cause she couldn’t wait to have Mexican food

I said soon,
Babe, soon
Soon, Soon
Soon, Soon
You’ll have tacos
Oh yeah –
Soon, you’ll have tacos

She was getting crazy
It was getting dark
But we got to the lot
She said stop the car

I said, soon,
Babe, soon
Soon, soon
Soon, Soon
You’ll have tacos
Oh yeah –
Soon, you’ll have tacos

We went to the door they locked it shut
Then she almost kicked my sorry butt
The thing that saved me was the drive thru
And it was better than a dream come true

Cause we were havin’ tacos
We were havin’ really good tacos
Instead of sayin’ soon you’ll have tacos
I said, “How did you like the tacos, dear?”
And she said,

“They were great, now let’s go to that bar
And have some ice cold American beer.”

April 9, 2021

Here’s the Good Part

Things have been shaping up
Things are really great now
Better than a year ago
I got out of the cellar somehow
It was right around the the time
When you ghosted me
And I figured out for myself
We were no baffling mystery

And here’s the good part
The part when I didn’t cry
When knew I’d move on
Cause it was all a lie
Yeah here’s the good part
You didn’t break my heart
You hit the road, really showed
Me what we couldn’t be
And here’s the good part
I don’t mind being single and free

I bought a mountain bike
And a bunch of sportswear
I started an Insta account
And posted my selfies there
I got my first batch of likes
It felt so great to just create
And nurture my yearning soul
With solid habits & better state

And here’s the good part
I fell in love with life again
I didn’t get sad and hide
Thinkin’ about way back when
And here’s the good part
It was an honest gift from you
It was the right thing to do
The catch & release,
you’re no missing piece
What we had wasn’t true
And here’s the good part
Instead of falling apart, I grew

That’s the good part
That’s the good part
Yeah that’s the good part
Instead of falling apart
I grew, I grew
and I hope you did, too
Oh, I hope, I hope
and pray you did too.

April 7, 2021

Better to Lose the Saddle

They say you can risk everything
Put it all right on that line
You can bet the Farm or your house
But that philosophy ain’t mine

‘Cause once I loved this girl
And I gave up everything I had
I spent every last penny on her
Then one day I made her so mad

That she kicked me out of my own place
You should have seen the grin on her face
She was laughin’ like the Devil on the Fourth of July
She maxed out all my credit, even took my change
I couldn’t even go shootin’ my gun at the range
The lesson I learned weighs heavy on my mind
You should listen to me but do what you want of course
It’s better to lose the saddle than the horse

This girl, she meant the world to me
But she left me over one damn fight
She called the cops and her Dad
What she did, man , it just ain’t right

All that was wrong, what angered her
That morning I left the toilet seat up
Well, she went in and didn’t notice
Then she fell in and soaked her butt

And she kicked me out of my own place
You should have seen that grin on her face
She was laughin’ like the Devil on the Fourth of July
She bought herself the finest dresses, it was so wrong
On top of that another said I could’ve had her for a song
The lesson I learned weighs heavy on my mind
And you should learn from me, but do what you want of course
It’s better to lose the saddle than the horse

Her friends took her side and mine took mine
But in the end, all she saw were dollar signs

Oh she kicked me out of my own place
You should have seen the grin on her face
She was laughin’ like the Devil on the Fourth of July
She maxed out all my credit, even took my change
I couldn’t even go shootin’ my gun at the range
The lesson I learned weighs heavy on my mind
You should listen to me, but do what you want of course
It’s better to lose the saddle than the horse

Oh, it’s better to lose the saddle than the horse

March 31, 2021

Baseball On My Brain

Inspired by Chuck Brodsky and Philip Bechis Clark

You say I’m acting different now
You say I’m getting really weird
You say I’m a bit too obsessive
It’s not as bad as you feared
No, I’m not going crazy
I haven’t gone insane
I’m just excited about Opening Day
It’s Major League Baseball on my brain

I used to play with my buddies
On the sandlot and we’d pretend
We were players from different teams
We’d battle it out ’til day’s end
Now I think of all those moments
When I even played through the pain
If you had the upbringing I had, you’d
Have Major League Baseball on your brain

My father taught me how to throw
He showed me how to hit
He’d pitch the baseball to me
He bought me my first leather mitt
So it’s not just about baseball, as you see
It’s about the memories that we made
It has probably meant more to me
Than any girlfriend or passing grade

So it’s just me getting pumped up
For my favorite players and home team
This year I’ve bought season tickets
It’s been a bucket list item and lifelong dream
To go spend a year enjoying from the stands
It’s a feeling I find hard to explain
Just know I’m not psychotic -
I’ve only got Major League Baseball on my brain

Oh, just know I’m not losing my mind,
I’ve only got Major League Baseball on my brain

March 27, 2021

When Your Sugar Don’t Want Your Honey

When your sugar don’t want your honey
But she spends all your hard earned money
And you know deep in your heart
she won’t care either way
You’ll see her buy what she wants
And go to those fancy restaurants
With friends acting like debutantes
Who work less than they play

Now, when your sugar don’t want your honey
And there are clouds more than it is sunny
You get wiser and suspicious with
Every passing night and day
Friend, you’re in a really bad spot
She’s not giving it all she’s got
You should strike while the iron’s hot
It’ll hurt you more if you stay

Cause as much as you want to see her happy
No trip to the store will ever fill her soul
She’s trying to heal something without therapy
And now it’s completely out of control

So friend, if your sugar don’t want your honey
She’s got someone else, and it ain’t funny
Cause you’re on the chopping block
Soon, she’s gonna say goodbye
Friend, now it’s time you realize
Listen to the words from the wise
You must open your ears and eyes
Let her go to be with that guy

Let her go to be with that foolish guy

March 25, 2021

Trucker’s Hat and a Farmer’s Tan

All she was lookin’ for and wanted in a man, was
one who had a trucker’s hat and a farmer’s tan
It must have been my lucky afternoon,
I had both when I walked into the barroom

I sat next to her and ordered myself a shot
Our eyes met and she said “Hey, you’re hot.”
I said, “Why, thank you, I’m new ‘round here”
And I thought I’d ask her if she wanted a beer

She said sure, she’d love a cold Miller Light
They we talked and talked through the night
She told me about her career as a Nurse
And she pulled out her phone from her purse

To show me pictures of her 8-year-old son
And I thought, “Hey, she could be the one.”
She wanted to know what I liked to do
I shared those things as we drank our brew

I asked if she would want to dance with me
As the band started a slow one, she agreed
When she put her arms around my neck
It felt like I just survived a major wreck

Our bodies intertwined, I felt so alive
Her kisses tasted like honey from a hive
And to think all she was lookin’ for in a man, was
one who had a trucker’s hat and a farmer’s tan

To think all she was lookin’ for in a man, was
One who had a trucker’s hat and a farmer’s tan

March 20, 2021

Unburden Me, Sweetheart

Verse 1
I know it’s hard for you to understand
Since we’ve been together for so long
We’ve been through so much together
All the good times and the wrong
And I look at all the things we’ve done
All the sweet success we’ve had
But there’s somethin’ I’ve gotta tell you
I’ve been so confused and sad

Chorus
Unburden me, sweetheart
I never see you anymore
You’re home for a little while
Then you’re runnin’ out the door
A little birdie’s inside my mind
Tellin’ me you don’t love me now
So unburden me, sweetheart
Are you honoring our wedding vows?

Verse 2
It seems you don’t want to be here
In this country home we built
And I know you’re workin’ every day
You don’t need to feel any guilt
About doing whatever you can
So we can survive and thrive
But can we bring back the spark
That will keep the romance alive?

Chorus
Unburden me, sweetheart
I never see you anymore
You’re home for a little while
Then you’re runnin’ out the door
A little birdie’s inside my mind
Tellin’ me you don’t love me now
So, unburden me, sweetheart
Are you honoring our wedding vows?

Bridge
I get calls from my friends
They ask if everything’s all right
And I break down then I tell them
You’re not there to hold me tight
You’re always gone on business
Or you’re gone with the guys
I’m saying if you need to say it
I won’t take it as a bad surprise

Verse 3
I’m waiting for you to come home
From wherever you went tonight
I’m wearing’ your favorite flannel
Feelin’ something just ain’t right
I don’t want this all to fall to pieces
But I’ve prepared for when it might
There’s only one who can tell me
Who can bring the truth to light

Chorus
Unburden me, sweetheart
I never see you anymore
You’re home for a little while
Then you’re runnin’ out the door
A little birdie’s inside my mind
Tellin’ me you don’t love me now
So, unburden me, sweetheart
Are you honoring our wedding vows?

Are you honoring our wedding vows?


Lyric Written by Matthew Kenneth Gray
2020, then Revised March 19, 2021.

Country Girls in a Wagoneer

Packed it up for the three day weekend
The 4 of them are on a quest for fun
Headin’ up to the cabin for a good time
For some drinkin’, grillin’ & sun

Takes all day just to get there
But they’ve got their music up loud
Their hair’s dancin’ ‘n they’re singin’
Like they’re on stage in front of a croud

They’re livin’ large
and they’ve got no fear
Buck wild country girls in a Wagoneer
Buck wild country girls in a Wagoneer

They’re wavin’ to the cars as the pass by
Got a big truck driver to honk his horn
And they’re lovin’ the scenic route
Filled with miles of stalks of corn

They’ve got a cooler of some sweet tea
Sweeter than what you’ll get at a store
They can’t wait to get to that mining town
They’ll get crazy on that biker bar floor

Just livin’ large,
Thirsty for men & beer
Buck wild country girls in a Wagoneer
Buck wild country girls in a Wagoneer

Labor Day Weekend has started
They’ve done this every year
Since they got out of High School
And it’s become so crystal clear

They won’t be doin’ it much longer
They’ve gotta make this one the best
Raise some Hell there with the locals, then
Sleep in, so they’ll get their beauty rest

Just livin’ large,
Thirsty for sun, men & chilly beer
Buck wild country girls in a Wagoneer
Buck wild country girls in a Wagoneer
Oh, they’re
Buck wild country girls in a Wagoneer

October 15, 2020