Matthew Kenneth Gray - Azweso Songs, LLC (ASCAP) Poet/Lyricist/Publisher

If I Cried

 If I cried many teardrops
 From these pale blue eyes
 I’m not sure if it would matter
 She’s already said her goodbyes
 So, I won’t cry many teardrops
 I’ll be manly and swallow my pride
 She wouldn’t be payin' attention
 If I cried

 If I cried about missin’ her
 If I cried about not kissin’ her
 If I cried cause I couldn’t hold her
 Sweet body close to mine
 If I cried and drank til I fell down
 If I cried like a backstage circus clown
 She won’t come back to this town
 So I think I’ll have some more wine

 If I cried like a little baby
 Or if I cried like a crocodile
 Just because I missed her laughter
 And that funny, silly smile
 So I won’t cry like a little baby
 I’ll get drunk and bum a ride
 Find someone else who’ll care
 If I cried

 If I cried about missin’ her
 If I cried about not kissin’ her
 If I cried cause I couldn’t hold her
 Smooth body close to mine
 If I cried and drank til I fell down
 If I cried like a backstage circus clown
 She won’t come back to this town
 So I think I’ll have some more wine

 And bourbon, scotch and a few
 cases of delicious Coors Light 
 Cause I can throw up all night
 There’s no one at home to fight
 Bring on all the booze tonight
 That girl was no Mrs. Right
 I won’t ever get her back now
 Even If I cried

 No, I couldn't get her back now,
 Even if I cried…

 January 27, 2021

Keepin’ Secrets

I used to not tell you what I spent money on
I used to pay only with cash from the bank
I used to see how far I could take it
And gamble with your trust until it sank

I’m in this truck parked by the courthouse
I see you dressed in brand new clothes
I knew you didn’t have it in you
To accept the behavior you think I chose

Chorus:
You saw a different me that emerged
When we got out of our honeymoon phase
And then you realized for yourself
You wanted better nights and days
I knew I wanted to move on from you
You knew you wanted to leave me too
We were too busy avoiding the truth
Keepin’ secrets was all we learned to do
It wasn’t a problem we were meant to solve
I know it’s right for our marriage to dissolve

We thought we had it all together back then
We didn’t want to end up unhappily divorced
Cause we both came from broken homes
So we tried to set sail on another course

We wanted to be there for each other
And stay honest with with how we felt
We’d accept each other warts and all
Our hearts grew hard, instead of melt

Bridge:
And I see all the damage I did on my end
I’ve lost you for good, my lover & friend

You saw a different me that emerged
When we got out of our honeymoon phase
And then you realized for yourself
You wanted better nights and days
I knew I wanted to move on from you
You knew you wanted to leave me too
And too busy avoiding what we could be
Keepin’ secrets was all we learned to do
It wasn’t a problem we were meant to solve
I know it’s right for our marriage to dissolve

Tag:
It’s how aware humans grow, change and evolve
That’s why I know our marriage had to dissolve

January 24, 2021

Should’ve Been Toby Keith

He says he should have been a cowboy
Ridin’ with the guys on a cattle drive
I don’t think he understands his talents
He makes people feel happy and alive

He’s a stud in boots and cowboy hat
And his songs are so intense and great
Makes me wanna leave my 50K town
To go find a place in the Sooners State

He’s impressive as a Country performer
Man what I would do to be in his corner
Proud of being from the land of the free
When he sings, man I don’t wanna be me

I wanna be him, with that kickass grin
Keepin’ all his songs free of sin
He’s an original rascal filled with fire
Never stopped playin’ and won’t retire

He’s got a sound and style of his own
His face looks like it’s chiseled from stone
He loves his fans and they all love him back
When it comes to class, he’s ahead of the pack

If you say I’m good, you’d be lying through your teeth
I’ll never be him, I should’ve been Toby Keith

I’ll never be him, I should’ve been Toby Keith

January 23, 2021

Is It True You’re Single Again?

Heard a rumor the other night
If I’ve said too much say when
Is it true he’s left you all alone
Is it true you’re single again?
Do you need me to come over?
I’d be happy to soothe your pain
Don’t be afraid to hang with me
Is it true you’re single again?

I’ve been waiting in the wings for years now
Guess I’ve been jealous of all those lucky guys
Who got to take you on dates & romantic getaways
I don’t think anything I tell you will be a surprise

I don’t want to argue or fight
If I’ve said too much say when
Is it true he’s left you all alone
Is it true you’re single again?
Do you need me to come over?
I’d be happy to soothe your pain
Don’t be afraid to hang with me
Is it true you’re single again?

I’ve got poems I’ve written to express my longing
They’re from my soul and I’ll share them with you
Some are cheesy but some are heart-wrenching
And I think my dear it’s high time that you knew

I heard a rumor the other night
If I’ve said too much say when
Is it true he’s left you all alone
Is it true you’re single again?
Do you need me to come over?
I’d be happy to soothe your pain
Don’t be afraid to spill the tea
Is it true you’re single again?

Is it true you’re single
And ready to mingle
Is it true you’re single again?
Oh, baby,
Is it true you’re single again?

January 15, 2021

Have You Smelled His Fingers Lately?

Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Do you know where he’s been all day?
Do you wonder if he’s been cheating?
Or do you just turn the other way?
Are you blind to who he’s been with?
Do you care if he’s messing around?
Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Can’t you see he’s totally unwound?

I saw him with a girl who looked like she was 22
She was in the front passenger seat of his car
Not to insult you but she looked prettier than you
And I saw them pull into the lot of a seedy bar

What confused me was I saw him with another
Who was prettier than the other girl, it was wild
When I got his attention by waving to him
She turned her head to me and she smiled

When I got home and looked out my window
To your bedroom and, I could see inside
I saw him with someone who resembled you
Then you came home and up, he was tied

You couldn’t figure out if someone had done it
But you thought you’d take him for a ride
And while you were taking a shower
She got out of there quickly with intact pride

I just thought I’d make you aware of it
Sweetie, do whatever you need to do
Maybe you could come over for a stakeout
To see if my story makes sense to you

I’m telling you he’s banging a bunch of girls
She’s the third one he’s had there this week
You might say you have an understanding
Because you know he’s a sex addicted freak

Oh can’t you see he’s totally unwound?

January 15, 2021

Colder Blood Than Mine

She had blue diamonds as eyes
Her lips tasted like sour apple pie
She smelled like smoke and patchouli
And swore like a dirty old guy
Her skin felt like sandpaper
She had the heart of a porcupine
Oh, I’m not sure why I fell for her
The girl with colder blood than mine

Her leather jacket had a skull & bones
There were blood stains on her jeans
She carried a blade in her back pocket
Her brother died from amphetamines
Her Daddy was a big truck driver
He was from below the Mason Dixon line
Somehow I drew her into my life
The girl with colder blood than mine

Once I saw her stab a greasy man
Because he tripped me and I fell
And she punched a girl so hard
They put her in an isolation cell
Her Momma was nothin’ like her
She was more like a Southern Belle
Who treated me like one of her own
But I was only under a wicked spell

One night I was at their house
And I got up to take a leak
The basement light was on
So I decided to take a peek
And damned if I didn’t see
Pics of me set up like a shrine
So I had to leave her behind
The girl with colder blood than mine

No I couldn’t walk the line, for
the girl with colder blood than mine

January 13, 2021

The Whole Time I Knew

The whole time I knew
I was falling for you
And you were falling
For me, too

I can’t explain how
Or why, dear
It simply was, to me
Crystal clear

The whole time I knew
It was a love, so true
There was nothing more
I could do, but surrender
And keep opening up
always showing up
Making sure I’d never
Go on a crazy bender

The whole time I saw
Me as a Son-In-Law
To your parents, who
You called Ma & Pa

But one thing I didn’t see
Is how much you’d love me
And how glorious life would be
With your whole famdamily
Here in Mackinaw

January 11, 2021

I’m Not Here to Get Drunk

No, I don’t want a bottle of Samuel Adams,
A shot of Jagermeister or Root Beer Schnapps
Don’t want a Malibu and Coke or a Mudslide
Cuz I don’t wanna be pulled over by the cops

I’m not here to cause a scene
I’m not here to listen to Punk
I came here to see you, girl
I’m not here to get drunk

I don’t need to go dancin’ with some skank
Who’s been three sheets to the wind since two
Don’t need any gross bar food to eat, either
I’ve been waiting all night just to talk to you

I’m not here to make some noise
Or get as soused as a skunk
I came here to see you, girl
No, I’m not here to get drunk

I just had to see you again, babe
You’re the girl who gets me the most
And I’m not that wanderin’ soldier
Who gets the girl then decides to ghost

I don’t wanna move on from you
like all the other guys will do
Or get another girl to hump my junk
I’m here for only one reason
But I’m not here to get drunk

I’m here for you and only you
Girl, I’m not here to get drunk

January 10, 2021

Never the Same After You

I had a heart so hard
I hurt everyone I could
One night stands every week
I’d meet these girls
At the local dive bars
And pretend I was meek

Then I saw you one night
You were different than them
So self-assured and wise
With a confident smile
And a loving soul
Kindness shone from your eyes

Chorus:
And I was never the same after you
Showed me what true love was
You gave me all of your attention
Like a nurturing woman does
Made me feel like I’d  conquer the world
And you cut right to the truth
No, you never pulled any punches
And I was never the same after you

Things moved pretty fast
You shared your story with me
Told me men hurt you so bad
They’d build you up so quickly
You thought they were sincere
Then vanish and you’d be sad

The longer I saw you
The more I started to see
I wasn’t gonna let you go
But you kept a secret
’Til t was too late you knew
it would hurt me to know

And I was never the same after you
Showed me what true love was
You gave me all your attention
Like a nurturing woman does
Made me feel like I’d conquer the world
And you cut right to the truth
No, you never pulled any punches
And I was never the same after you

Bridge:
I went to every one of your appointments
Set a peaceful bed up for you to rest
You deserved a strong man to give you
His devotion and his absolute best

Oh, I was never the same after you
Showed me what true love was
You gave me all of your attention
Like a nurturing woman does
All I want to talk about now
Is your spirit so sincere and true
And whenever I see you in Heaven
I’ll say the rest of my life
Was never the same after you

I was never the same after you

January 6, 2021