In The Shed

Fred found him face down on the floor
holding to a hammer stained with someone’s blood
There were no marks on this person
The bottoms of his boots were caked with mud

The last man who talked to this victim named Ned
said Ned was nervous but he didn’t say why
And they talked about unrelated topics
then Ned said he was afraid he was going to die

In the shed
he was dead
Poor old Ned
got over his head
Nobody saw it coming
Not even his twin brother Fred
who found Ned
in the shed

A few days later, Fred got a letter in the mail
from someone Ned knew pretty well
He admitted he was in the shed that day
and said he remembered it as clear as a bell

He said Ned told him in confidence
about a plan he hatched with a stranger
Ned said the stranger had been threatening him
He knew his life was in serious danger

In the shed
Ned had not bled
He was unwed
and well read
Someone whom with he was chumming
poisoned Ned with lead
not in bed, but
in the shed

The investigators were perplexed by this event
So much so, they brought in the FBI
The FBI probed all of Ned’s neighbors
They finally found the guy

The perp’s name was Ted
Ted’s motive didn’t exist
He wasn’t insane, they figured out
All he was, was pissed

In the shed
at poor old Ned
So he fed
Ned with some lead
While Ned was humming
A sharp tingle hit his head
right there with Ted
in the shed

Fred found Ned
killed by Ted
in the shed.

2003