After sampling your menu of life, waitress
And trying to figure out what I really want
Let me order that super exclusive dish you serve
at this fantastic and fine restaurant
I’d like to start out with some orange juice
I know it does wonders for how I feel
And I’ll also have a cup of coffee with,
’cause it always kicks me in gear during a meal
Now I’d like it with pepper
because it makes me sneeze
I’ll have a nice big helping
of your amazing true love, please
I’ve tried much of what I could order here
Your one night stand is pretty darn good
And I’ve loved your voyeurism
since our days of long ago childhood
My opinion of your distant admiration
is that it satisfies me for a while
And the side of idolization
sometimes makes me smile
Don’t give me the excuse you’ve run out
’cause I see others having a similar thing
And please don’t say I’m not worth it
Of your atmosphere and great service I sing
Don’t make me sit here and beg
I’m hoping I don’t have to get on my knees
To have you write this down as my order
then take me in your loving arms
for your amazing true love, please
I’d love your amazing, blazing, true love, please!
2003 – Revised, 2017
Lyrics Notes: Written at Mel’s Diner in West Hollywood, CA.