I was drivin’ my ol’ beat up truck
Down a backwoods gravel road
Right then I was really outta luck
Cause I couldn’t find a commode
Really had to unload a number two
Man I was so desperate to go
Then I found a cabin with some
Sweet southern girls on the porch
I said I hated to be a bother to them
I told ’em I knew it sounded weird
I asked if I could use their bathroom
And they would have nothin’ to fear
They looked at each other and said
Sure honey, whatcha waiting for
I was so grateful to those darling
Sweet southern girls on the porch
I was led through the kitchen
Through a hallway to the back
Was a small room for my business
It had a girly magazine rack
I was in there sittin’ ‘n waitin’
And quietly starin’ at the door
Then I heard a tender voice of
One of the girls from the porch
She asked if I needed something
Like a mason jar of cold lemonade
She said it wouldn’t be much trouble
That mornin’ it had been made
I said that sure sounded fantastic
She brought it in the bathroom to me
And she was the most beautiful girl
I ever got the pleasure to meet or see
And I sipped on that sour sugary drink
It helped me finish the job I believe
Then I washed my hands, head and face
I did what I was supposed to achieve
And as I opened the bathroom door
I heard a different voice across the hall
She asked if I’d kindly help her with
Hangin’ some pictures on her wall
They were of her and her close friends
I knew where I had seen them before
They were who I had just met those
Sweet southern girls on the porch
They knew I was traveling through but
They asked me to stay to have some food
I couldn’t believe I came upon them
They sure uplifted my spirits and mood
I couldn’t reject them, it would be rude
But I ate supper like an old racehorse
I felt so nurtured and cared for by those
Sweet southern girls on the porch
You can tell someone taught them well
’cause their hospitality was top notch
They laughed as I told my funny story
About how I ended up with my old watch
They offered me a room I could sleep in
If I was tired from the long drive I had
And I said I couldn’t stay with them
But they didn’t make me feel bad
They said I’d always be welcomed
They all were so down home ‘n warm
Oh, I never ever will forget those
Sweet southern girls on the porch
Oh I never ever will forget those
Sweet southern girls on the porch.
August 2, 2018
Lyrics Notes: As an Uber Driver in Central Illinois, I get lots of ideas for songs. I’ve been thinking and stewing on this one for a while. I saw some Illinois State girls drinking on a porch on Spring Day (they call these “Day Parties” or “Darties” for short) and I had to figure out a context. This is what came up – A simple story similar to the song “Watermelon Crawl”… The title was inspired by “The Girls on the Beach,” by the Beach Boys – and I just connected the dots. Enjoy.