I Know That Guy

We went to school with him in California
He had so many things on his plate
He lettered in four sports and belonged to many clubs
He was in charge of his unpredictable fate

You were his steady girlfriend for two years
He’s had the best friend since the 5th Grade
It appeared to our peers and the whole town
That he had it made in the shade

But he was the hardest worker I ever knew
His standards got higher as he grew
I asked him once what he wanted to do
Then he smiled at me and looked at you

Then said;
I’m here to be with her through the good times and bad
I’m here to make her happy when she’s feeling sad
I’m here to inspire everybody until I die
So whenever you saw me, you’d say, “Hey, I know that guy”

After High School he went to a little school called Harvard
He got straight A’s in math so he studied that
But he was also artistic and creative
He’d write as he washed his clothes in the laundromat

His roommate was a genius who wrote music
One of the best singer-songwriters I’d ever met
His song about Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
Was my favorite one I’ll never forget

Tom was the hardest working student I’d ever seen
But his songs were offensive and many called him mean
When I asked him at a party what his next one would be
He looked at you and him and then he laughed at me

He said;
I’m here to make fun of everything- that’s called Parody
And eventually I’ll teach mathematics at a college town by the sea
Your friend told me about a school in Santa Cruz where life is like pie
and I’ll hide from strangers who say, “Hey, I know that guy!”

So my friend helped his singing roommate out
By selling his albums by mail and his shows
And what happened to Tom Lehrer
Well now everybody knows

He conquered the novelty music business
Then taught Math ‘n Music Theatre for many years
At his songs, he wrote for all his classes
The students would laugh so hard then break out in tears

And my buddy who helped Tom get over his fear
Well, he built quite a long and lasting career
He produced many famous and great jazz acts
He just didn’t ever know what it was like to relax

When he walks into a restaurant or goes shopping now
People stop in their tracks and start to stare
He’ll sign autographs for people when they ask
And he’s a multi-millionaire

Whenever he comes into our hometown
The three of us go down to the Junior High
His best friend I mentioned earlier, you know he’s me
And that rascal’s still in love with you, my wife
When he met our son, he screamed “Hey, I know that guy!”
Our son snapped back- “What’s the deal with that tie?”


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