Adult Themes, Americana, Blues, Inspired By Situations, Introspective, Jazz, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Relationships, Saloon Song

When Your Sugar Don’t Want Your Honey

When your sugar don’t want your honey
But she spends all your hard earned money
And you know deep in your heart
she won’t care either way
You’ll see her buy what she wants
And go to those fancy restaurants
With friends acting like debutantes
Who work less than they play

Now, when your sugar don’t want your honey
And there are clouds more than it is sunny
You get wiser and suspicious with
Every passing night and day
Friend, you’re in a really bad spot
She’s not giving it all she’s got
You should strike while the iron’s hot
It’ll hurt you more if you stay

Cause as much as you want to see her happy
No trip to the store will ever fill her soul
She’s trying to heal something without therapy
And now it’s completely out of control

So friend, if your sugar don’t want your honey
She’s got someone else, and it ain’t funny
Cause you’re on the chopping block
Soon, she’s gonna say goodbye
Friend, now it’s time you realize
Listen to the words from the wise
You must open your ears and eyes
Let her go to be with that guy

Let her go to be with that foolish guy

March 25, 2021

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Adult Themes, Ballad, Blues, Grief Song, Growing Up, Heartbreak, Inspired by College, Introspective, Love, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Old Wounds, Relationships, Wistful, Women, Young Love

Never the Same After You

I had a heart so hard
I hurt everyone I could
One night stands every week
I’d meet these girls
At the local dive bars
And pretend I was meek

Then I saw you one night
You were different than them
So self-assured and wise
With a confident smile
And a loving soul
Kindness shone from your eyes

Chorus:
And I was never the same after you
Showed me what true love was
You gave me all of your attention
Like a nurturing woman does
Made me feel like I’d  conquer the world
And you cut right to the truth
No, you never pulled any punches
And I was never the same after you

Things moved pretty fast
You shared your story with me
Told me men hurt you so bad
They’d build you up so quickly
You thought they were sincere
Then vanish and you’d be sad

The longer I saw you
The more I started to see
I wasn’t gonna let you go
But you kept a secret
’Til t was too late you knew
it would hurt me to know

And I was never the same after you
Showed me what true love was
You gave me all your attention
Like a nurturing woman does
Made me feel like I’d conquer the world
And you cut right to the truth
No, you never pulled any punches
And I was never the same after you

Bridge:
I went to every one of your appointments
Set a peaceful bed up for you to rest
You deserved a strong man to give you
His devotion and his absolute best

Oh, I was never the same after you
Showed me what true love was
You gave me all of your attention
Like a nurturing woman does
All I want to talk about now
Is your spirit so sincere and true
And whenever I see you in Heaven
I’ll say the rest of my life
Was never the same after you

I was never the same after you

January 6, 2021
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Adult Themes, Americana, Blues, Funny, Hokum, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Parody Lyrics, Satire, Snarky

Skin Tag Blues

I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
They’re all over my feet
That’s why I don’t like wearin’ shoes
Skin Tag Blues
Skin Tag Blues
There’s nothin’ I can do
‘bout these Skin Tag Blues

Skin tags  on my belly
Skin tags on my back
Skin tags on the nape of my neck
Skin tags near my crack

Skin tags in all kinds of places
I don’t like them one bit
Cause whenever I touch ‘em
I have a conniption fit

I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
They’re all over my feet
That’s why I don’t like wearin’ shoes
Skin Tag Blues
Skin Tag Blues
There’s nothin’ I can do
‘bout these Skin Tag Blues

I went to see a skin specialist
She said she’d remove ‘em for a fee
But she also said it would hurt like hell
That really disappointed me

I tried clipping one of them off
Boy they really do bleed
I’ve even numbed ‘em & cut ‘em
But they just grow back like weeds

I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
They’re all over my feet
That’s why I don’t like wearin’ shoes
Skin Tag Blues
Skin Tag Blues
There’s nothin’ I can do
‘bout these Skin Tag Blues

There’s nothin’ I can do
‘bout these Skin Tag Blues

January 1, 2021

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Adult Themes, Americana, Ballad, Blues, Folk Ballad, Goth Folk, Growing Up, Heartbreak, Inspired by People, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Old Wounds, Southern Gothic, Wistful

When Daddy’s Drunk

Don’t be provoking him
When Daddy’s drunk
You shouldn’t be courageous
Unless you want your heart sunk

I’ve seen him choke Mama
And he’s hit me hard a few times
He’s been on the Evening News
For committing violent crimes

He’s done time in the jailhouse
But we don’t talk of it these days
I keep thinking he’ll leave us
But instead, he drinks and stays

So go hang out with friends
When Daddy’s drunk
It’s not likely that he’ll ever
Get out of his outgoing funk
When Daddy’s drunk
When Daddy’s drunk

I’ve seen him slap Sissy
He’s also fired his gun
After a bender, he won’t wake
Until we see the burning sun

He knows what he’s doin’
He said that he won’t stop
911’s on speed dial now
In case we need a cop

He’s done time in the jailhouse
But we don’t talk of it these days
I keep prayin’ he’ll leave us
But instead, he drinks and stays

So go hang out with friends
When Daddy’s drunk
It’s not likely he’ll ever
Get out of his ongoing funk
When Daddy’s drunk
Oh, it’s not likely he’ll ever
Get out of his ongoing funk
Just don’t ever be home
When Daddy’s drunk
When Daddy’s drunk
When Daddy’s drunk
Oh, when Daddy’s drunk

August 30, 2020

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About a Friend, Adult Themes, Autobiographical, Ballad, Blues, Failed Friendships, Growing Up, Inspired by High School, Inspired by People, Introspective, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Snarky

Foolish Expectations

I thought in you, I found a friend
One who would be there until death
We fought like good friends do
So I began holding my breath

There was a day when I knew
You didn’t want me to know you
It was after many things you said
hammered at once inside my head

Foolish expectations
I knew you well enough to know
One day you’d break out of here
And wouldn’t call before you’d go
Foolish expectations
Made messes of you & me
But l knew I’d be cut free
Cause It was less than you
assumed it would ever be
My lack of clarity vanished when
I pulled an apple from the tree
Once I saw there was no me in we

If I was such an awful teenager
If I was a heartless reckless nerd
and you knew I wasn’t changing
You didn’t say a single word

There was an attack via silence
The tell was in your secret plans
And years later you bitched that
You left with nothing in your hands

Foolish expectations
You knew me enough to know
You’d break out of here one day
You wouldn’t call before you’d go
Foolish expectations
Made messes of you & me
But I knew you’d cut me free
Cause it was less than you
assumed it would ever be
My lack of clarity vanished when
I pulled that apple from the tree
Once I saw there was no me in we

Once I saw there was no me in we

April 16, 2020

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Adult Themes, Americana, Blues, Country Song, Funny, Hokum, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Satire, Snarky

If You’re Looking For My Heart

I don’t know if you even care
though you’re sittin’ with me here
With me at this bowling alley bar
and you just ordered me a cold beer

I’m not used to forward women
But before we even start
It’s been thrown in the trash
If you’re looking for my heart

It’s been thrown in the trash
If you’re looking for my heart
And it’s likely gone to the dump
Smelling like a really bad fart
Some critter’s probably got to it
He’s crapped it out by today
So if you’re looking for my heart
You best give up and walk away

I’m not much of a man without it
I’m as empty as a man can be
All I do is eat, drink, piss ‘n shit
No woman would wanna be with me

My ex-wife took all my money
And I’m never gonna get it back
So if you’re looking for my heart
It’s crapped out from a critter’s crack

Cause
It’s been thrown in the trash
If you’re looking for my heart
And it’s likely gone to the dump
Smelling like a really bad fart
Some critter’s probably got to it
He’s crapped it out by today
So if you’re looking for my heart
You best give up and walk away

If you’re looking for my heart
Take my advice, just walk away

September 26, 2019

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Adult Themes, Americana, Blues, Country Song, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Wistful

Me and my Rotgut Whiskey

She’s really gone
She packed all her things
She took the ring I scrimped and saved for
On this freezing day in early Spring
I’m left with this bitter sting
Now It’s just me and my Rotgut Whiskey

She’s really out
She left her phone and a note
She’s had enough of what we didn’t have
And rather than cut her own throat
She bought herself a sailboat
Now it’s just me and my Rotgut Whiskey

I should have known it was comin’
I should have seen all the signs
She was out with friends at night
And always dressed to the nines
Our apartment has been neglected
Just like my devastated heart
I’m alone and feelin’ rejected
At least she left the Mason jars

We’re really through
I’m stuck here without any plan
She was my fiance’, my whole world
Has suddenly come to an end
There goes my best friend
Guess from now on it’s just me
Oh it’s me and my Rotgut Whiskey

My Rotgut Whiskey
My Rotgut Whiskey
Now it’ll forever be
Me and my Rotgut Whiskey

St. Patrick’s Day, 2019.

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Adult Themes, Americana, Blues, Inspired by People, Love, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Piano Song, Relationships, Wistful, Women, Young Love

Not So Wise

She’s as hot as biscuits on Sunday mornin’
but she can be colder than a witches tit
And when I put my right hand in her left one
It feels like a worn-in leather baseball mitt

And when I look into those turquoise eyes
There’s a whole world in there to explore
Just when I think I’ve got her figured out
She does somethin’ she’s never done before

Chorus:
Her heart isn’t an open book
I’ve had to turn every single page
She keeps her delicate issues
tucked away in a rusty cage
She threw the key to it into the ocean
that’s inside every tear she cries
And just when I think I really know her
I realize I’m not so wise

She can be as stubborn as a donkey on a trail
or as easygoing as a surfer girl on a beach
And when her soft wet lips are touchin’ mine
Everything I’ll ever need’s in my reach

And when she whispers the sweet words
I’ve been waiting all of my life to hear
What I’ve been quietly feelin’ in my soul
becomes so obvious, so crystal clear

Chorus:
Yet her heart isn’t an open book
I’ve had to turn every single page
She keeps a lot hidden inside
tucked away in a rusty cage
She threw the key to it into the ocean
that’s inside every tear she cries
And just when I think I really know her
I realize I’m not so wise

And just when I think I really know her
I realize I’m not so wise

November 4, 2018

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Adult Themes, Americana, Blues, Inspired by a Place, Introspective, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Piano Song, Wistful

The Regular

Well, I’m a regular at the Lucca Grill
Where I order the same thing every week
A Ham and Pineapple Calzone & a Coke
And they listen to me even when I’m bleak

I don’t have many friends around anymore
My ex-wife took the kids away from me
So I go there to check in & shoot the breeze
And they always test my long term memory

What was it like in the old days here old man?
They ask me and I always answer honestly
It was not like it is now – it was much better
It’s where I wish I was stuck for eternity
The people were much friendlier and open
It was so much fun, everyone had so much class
We all respected the older Gentlemen and Ladies
And we’d go have breakfast after Sunday Mass

And I see the happiness in their smoky eyes
As they listen to me with interest and intent
Before you know it, I’m there until supper time
And I wonder where all the time went

And I go home to feed my beagle Theodore
I sit down and ponder all the things I said
After my supper from a cardboard box,
I put on my PJ’s, then slowly climb into bed

And I think about those Spring weekends
We’d spend up in Chicago at the nightclubs
We’d dance the Lindy and East Coast Swing
How I deeply miss that ol’ pal of mine Buzz
We’d stay up and talk about random things
Maybe swap a few lies about this and that
Back when ladies wore fancy dresses daily
And I’d be dressed to the nines with a hat

So whenever you see me at the Lucca Grill
Come on over to my table, we’ll have a drink
I’d love to know more about you all
How you’re doing and what you feel & think

Maybe I could be of use to you as I listen
To your stories & what’s going on with you
I’m pretty good at figuring out solutions
And there’s not much else now I can do

What was it like in the old days here old man?
You’ll ask me and I’ll always answer honestly
It was not like it is now – it was much better
It’s where I wish I was stuck for eternity
The people were much friendlier and open
It was so much fun, everyone had so much class
We all respected the older Gentlemen and Ladies
And we’d go have breakfast after Sunday Mass

We all respected each other’s hopes and dreams
And we’d go have breakfast after Sunday Mass

October 30, 2018

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