She wanted an old-money manone who wore a uniformShe wanted an old-money manSomeone who’d keep her warmSomeone who’d wear a silk tieSomeone who’d wear pricy suitsShe wanted an old-money manNot one who wore muddy boots Well, I’m not an old-money manI’m a denim and flannel guyYeah, I’m not an old-money manI love sunsets and rhubarbContinue reading “Old-Money Man”
Category Archives: Hokum
Etiquette Nazis
There she is at the dinner partyTelling them all how to behaveThere she is at the dinner partyDoin’ that Princess Wave There she is at the dinner partyGiving orders like an Uppity DameExpecting everyone to be PreppyExpecting everyone to be the same Somebody tell the Etiquette NaziSomebody tell her she’s all wrongSomebody tell the EtiquetteContinue reading “Etiquette Nazis”
Grinding the Corn
t took me a long while To understand how to do it right Like a younger boxer Who’s training hard for a fight I didn’t learn it from a book It was from experience & porn Then I finally got the hang Of grinding the corn I had lots of partners They lost their patienceContinue reading “Grinding the Corn”
Soon, You’ll Have Tacos
We were driving in the middle of nowhere With the windows open and I felt her stare We were starving and she wanted Taco Bell I couldn’t agree more, I wanted it as well I said soon, Babe, soon Soon, Soon Soon, Soon You’ll have tacos Oh yeah – Soon, you’ll have tacos The signContinue reading “Soon, You’ll Have Tacos”
Your Guess Is As Good As Mine
You ask me why I love you Why I’m always thinking of you Why your kisses are better than wine I couldn’t even tell you Why I love to smell you Your guess is as good as mine It could be your bright eyes Or that attractive hip size Or your smile, how it shinesContinue reading “Your Guess Is As Good As Mine”
Skin Tag Blues
I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues They’re all over my feet That’s why I don’t like wearin’ shoes Skin Tag Blues Skin Tag Blues There’s nothin’ I can do ‘bout these Skin Tag Blues Skin tags on my belly Skin tags on my back Skin tags on the napeContinue reading “Skin Tag Blues”
I Know That Guy
We went to school with him in California He had so many things on his plate He lettered in four sports and belonged to many clubs He was in charge of his unpredictable fate You were his steady girlfriend for two years He’s had the best friend since the 5th Grade It appeared to ourContinue reading “I Know That Guy”
If You’re Looking For My Heart
I don’t know if you even care though you’re sittin’ with me here With me at this bowling alley bar and you just ordered me a cold beer I’m not used to forward women But before we even start It’s been thrown in the trash If you’re looking for my heart It’s been thrown inContinue reading “If You’re Looking For My Heart”