Whenever she looks over to him, her lips part
And he’s thinkin’ bout his favorite go-kart
Instead of payin’ attention to her come-hither look
He’s hidin’ behind a NASCAR History book

She wants him to talk to her ‘bout his muscle car
And dreams together, they’ll go wide ‘n far
But he’s pining for the redhead in our class
He likes her crimson lipstick and her sass

It’s a typical love triangle in this preppy coastal town
where a girl’s expected to go to an Ivy League college
then graduate, meet a boy there and settle down
Where the young men follow in their father’s footsteps
They’ll buckle up, get good grades, pick a sport
Party, sow their oats, ‘n not be a Beta clown
Then find a proper girl from the big city
Who’ll say I do in a satin and lace wedding gown

But the boy’s not into all that, he’s a rebel with a plan
He’ll get a GED and get out outta here while he can
She doesn’t know he’s going into the Army infantry
I only know all this cause his best friend is me

I’ve liked the same girl I’ve known for quite a while
I like that she plays sports and has a country style
She doesn’t feel the same, she likes the quarterback
Little does she know a teacher’s had him in the sack

It’s a typical soap opera story in this preppy coastal town
Where a girl’s expected to go off to an Ivy League college
then graduate, meet a boy there and settle down
Where the young men follow in their father’s footsteps
They’ll buckle up, get good grades, graduate
Sow their oats, make some mistakes but rebound
Then marry, have an affair & divorce in their 40’s or 50’s
& end up with a fatty liver from all that Tanqueray & Royal Crown

They’ll all end up with fatty livers from Tanqueray & Royal Crown
In this scenic, messed-up, rich-rich, coastal preppy town.

March 1, 2018