Category: Satire
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Grinding the Corn
t took me a long while To understand how to do it right Like a younger boxer Who’s training hard for a fight I didn’t learn it from a book It was from experience & porn Then I finally got the hang Of grinding the corn I had lots of partners They lost their patience […]
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Soon, You’ll Have Tacos
We were driving in the middle of nowhere With the windows open and I felt her stare We were starving and she wanted Taco Bell I couldn’t agree more, I wanted it as well I said soon, Babe, soon Soon, Soon Soon, Soon You’ll have tacos Oh yeah – Soon, you’ll have tacos The sign […]
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Skin Tag Blues
I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues They’re all over my feet That’s why I don’t like wearin’ shoes Skin Tag Blues Skin Tag Blues There’s nothin’ I can do ‘bout these Skin Tag Blues Skin tags on my belly Skin tags on my back Skin tags on the nape […]
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If You’re Looking For My Heart
I don’t know if you even care though you’re sittin’ with me here With me at this bowling alley bar and you just ordered me a cold beer I’m not used to forward women But before we even start It’s been thrown in the trash If you’re looking for my heart It’s been thrown in […]
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Halloween in Haddonfield
Parents go out and leave their kids at home With hot looking babysitters who mess around Their boyfriends arrive when the kids are asleep And they try not to make any big sounds Maybe they decided to watch a scary movie Maybe they’re drinkin’ beer n gettin” high They’re likely dry humpin’ in the family […]
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Smarter Than You
If you listen closely to these words and the progressions being played You will question your intelligence and everything you’ve ever made And at night you’ll lie awake because you won’t fall asleep And you may want to get rid of the things you need to keep This song This song This song This song […]
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Maybe It’s Just My Boner
When I was younger than I am now I’d get erections all the time In classrooms and bathrooms The feeling was very sublime So it’s weird now that I’m older ‘Cause my dick doesn’t go up much these days Even when I’m not attracted to the girl it decides to go against my heart and […]
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Preppy Coastal Town
Whenever she looks over to him, her lips part And he’s thinkin’ bout his favorite go-kart Instead of payin’ attention to her come-hither look He’s hidin’ behind a NASCAR History book She wants him to talk to her ‘bout his muscle car And dreams together, they’ll go wide ‘n far But he’s pining for the […]
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#FAKEBLUES
My girlfriend – she walked out that door and never looked back again I’ve been itchin’ to write some songs but I can’t seem to find a pen Got a job last year I can’t stand but it’s the best one I’ve ever had My redemption is things happen to me but none of it […]