Should’ve Been Toby Keith

He says he should have been a cowboy
Ridin’ with the guys on a cattle drive
I don’t think he understands his talents
He makes people feel happy and alive

He’s a stud in boots and cowboy hat
And his songs are so intense and great
Makes me wanna leave my 50K town
To go find a place in the Sooners State

He’s impressive as a Country performer
Man what I would do to be in his corner
Proud of being from the land of the free
When he sings, man I don’t wanna be me

I wanna be him, with that kickass grin
Keepin’ all his songs free of sin
He’s an original rascal filled with fire
Never stopped playin’ and won’t retire

He’s got a sound and style of his own
His face looks like it’s chiseled from stone
He loves his fans and they all love him back
When it comes to class, he’s ahead of the pack

If you say I’m good, you’d be lying through your teeth
I’ll never be him, I should’ve been Toby Keith

I’ll never be him, I should’ve been Toby Keith

January 23, 2021

Is It True You’re Single Again?

Heard a rumor the other night
If I’ve said too much say when
Is it true he’s left you all alone
Is it true you’re single again?
Do you need me to come over?
I’d be happy to soothe your pain
Don’t be afraid to hang with me
Is it true you’re single again?

I’ve been waiting in the wings for years now
Guess I’ve been jealous of all those lucky guys
Who got to take you on dates & romantic getaways
I don’t think anything I tell you will be a surprise

I don’t want to argue or fight
If I’ve said too much say when
Is it true he’s left you all alone
Is it true you’re single again?
Do you need me to come over?
I’d be happy to soothe your pain
Don’t be afraid to hang with me
Is it true you’re single again?

I’ve got poems I’ve written to express my longing
They’re from my soul and I’ll share them with you
Some are cheesy but some are heart-wrenching
And I think my dear it’s high time that you knew

I heard a rumor the other night
If I’ve said too much say when
Is it true he’s left you all alone
Is it true you’re single again?
Do you need me to come over?
I’d be happy to soothe your pain
Don’t be afraid to spill the tea
Is it true you’re single again?

Is it true you’re single
And ready to mingle
Is it true you’re single again?
Oh, baby,
Is it true you’re single again?

January 15, 2021

Have You Smelled His Fingers Lately?

Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Do you know where he’s been all day?
Do you wonder if he’s been cheating?
Or do you just turn the other way?
Are you blind to who he’s been with?
Do you care if he’s messing around?
Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Can’t you see he’s totally unwound?

I saw him with a girl who looked like she was 22
She was in the front passenger seat of his car
Not to insult you but she looked prettier than you
And I saw them pull into the lot of a seedy bar

Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Do you know where he’s been all day?
Do you wonder if he’s been cheating?
Or do you just turn the other way?
Are you blind to who he’s been with?
Do you care if he’s messing around?
Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Can’t you see he’s totally unwound?

What confused me was I saw him with another
Who was prettier than the other girl, it was wild
When I got his attention by waving to him
She turned her head to me and she smiled

Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Do you know where he’s been all day?
Do you wonder if he’s been cheating?
Or do you just turn the other way?
Are you blind to who he’s been with?
Do you care if he’s messing around?
Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Can’t you see he’s totally unwound?

When I got home and looked out my window
To your bedroom and, I could see inside
I saw him with someone who resembled you
Then you came home and up, he was tied

You couldn’t figure out if someone had done it
But you thought you’d take him for a ride
And while you were taking a shower
She got out of there quickly with intact pride

Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Do you know where he’s been all day?
Do you wonder if he’s been cheating?
Or do you just turn the other way?
Are you blind to who he’s been with?
Do you care if he’s messing around?
Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Can’t you see he’s totally unwound?

I just thought I’d make you aware of it
Sweetie, do whatever you need to do
Maybe you could come over for a stakeout
To see if my story makes sense to you

I’m telling you he’s banging a bunch of girls
She’s the third one he’s had there this week
You might say you have an understanding
Because you know he’s a sex addicted freak

Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Do you know where he’s been all day?
Do you wonder if he’s been cheating?
Or do you just turn the other way?
Are you blind to who he’s been with?
Do you care if he’s messing around?
Have you smelled his fingers lately?
Can’t you see he’s totally unwound?

Oh can’t you see he’s totally unwound?

January 15, 2021

Colder Blood Than Mine

She had blue diamonds as eyes
Her lips tasted like sour apple pie
She smelled like smoke and patchouli
And swore like a dirty old guy
Her skin felt like sandpaper
She had the heart of a porcupine
Oh, I’m not sure why I fell for her
The girl with colder blood than mine

Her leather jacket had a skull & bones
There were blood stains on her jeans
She carried a blade in her back pocket
Her brother died from amphetamines
Her Daddy was a big truck driver
He was from below the Mason Dixon line
Somehow I drew her into my life
The girl with colder blood than mine

Once I saw her stab a greasy man
Because he tripped me and I fell
And she punched a girl so hard
They put her in an isolation cell
Her Momma was nothin’ like her
She was more like a Southern Belle
Who treated me like one of her own
But I was only under a wicked spell

One night I was at their house
And I got up to take a leak
The basement light was on
So I decided to take a peek
And damned if I didn’t see
Pics of me set up like a shrine
So I had to leave her behind
The girl with colder blood than mine

No I couldn’t walk the line, for
the girl with colder blood than mine

January 13, 2021

The Whole Time I Knew

The whole time I knew
I was falling for you
And you were falling
For me, too

I can’t explain how
Or why, dear
It simply was, to me
Crystal clear

The whole time I knew
It was a love, so true
There was nothing more
I could do, but surrender
And keep opening up
always showing up
Making sure I’d never
Go on a crazy bender

The whole time I saw
Me as a Son-In-Law
To your parents, who
You called Ma & Pa

But one thing I didn’t see
Is how much you’d love me
And how glorious life would be
With your whole famdamily
Here in Mackinaw

January 11, 2021

I’m Not Here to Get Drunk

No, I don’t want a bottle of Samuel Adams,
A shot of Jagermeister or Root Beer Schnapps
Don’t want a Malibu and Coke or a Mudslide
Cuz I don’t wanna be pulled over by the cops

I’m not here to cause a scene
I’m not here to listen to Punk
I came here to see you, girl
I’m not here to get drunk

I don’t need to go dancin’ with some skank
Who’s been three sheets to the wind since two
Don’t need any gross bar food to eat, either
I’ve been waiting all night just to talk to you

I’m not here to make some noise
Or get as soused as a skunk
I came here to see you, girl
No, I’m not here to get drunk

I just had to see you again, babe
You’re the girl who gets me the most
And I’m not that wanderin’ soldier
Who gets the girl then decides to ghost

I don’t wanna move on from you
like all the other guys will do
Or get another girl to hump my junk
I’m here for only one reason
But I’m not here to get drunk

I’m here for you and only you
Girl, I’m not here to get drunk

January 10, 2021

Never the Same After You

I had a heart so hard
I hurt everyone I could
One night stands every week
I’d meet these girls
At the local dive bars
And pretend I was meek

Then I saw you one night
You were different than them
So self-assured and wise
With a confident smile
And a loving soul
Kindness shone from your eyes

Chorus:
And I was never the same after you
Showed me what true love was
You gave me all of your attention
Like a nurturing woman does
Made me feel like I’d  conquer the world
And you cut right to the truth
No, you never pulled any punches
And I was never the same after you

Things moved pretty fast
You shared your story with me
Told me men hurt you so bad
They’d build you up so quickly
You thought they were sincere
Then vanish and you’d be sad

The longer I saw you
The more I started to see
I wasn’t gonna let you go
But you kept a secret
’Til t was too late you knew
it would hurt me to know

And I was never the same after you
Showed me what true love was
You gave me all your attention
Like a nurturing woman does
Made me feel like I’d conquer the world
And you cut right to the truth
No, you never pulled any punches
And I was never the same after you

Bridge:
I went to every one of your appointments
Set a peaceful bed up for you to rest
You deserved a strong man to give you
His devotion and his absolute best

Oh, I was never the same after you
Showed me what true love was
You gave me all of your attention
Like a nurturing woman does
All I want to talk about now
Is your spirit so sincere and true
And whenever I see you in Heaven
I’ll say the rest of my life
Was never the same after you

I was never the same after you

January 6, 2021

Skin Tag Blues

I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
They’re all over my feet
That’s why I don’t like wearin’ shoes
Skin Tag Blues
Skin Tag Blues
There’s nothin’ I can do
‘bout these Skin Tag Blues

Skin tags  on my belly
Skin tags on my back
Skin tags on the nape of my neck
Skin tags near my crack

Skin tags in all kinds of places
I don’t like them one bit
Cause whenever I touch ‘em
I have a conniption fit

I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
They’re all over my feet
That’s why I don’t like wearin’ shoes
Skin Tag Blues
Skin Tag Blues
There’s nothin’ I can do
‘bout these Skin Tag Blues

I went to see a skin specialist
She said she’d remove ‘em for a fee
But she also said it would hurt like hell
That really disappointed me

I tried clipping one of them off
Boy they really do bleed
I’ve even numbed ‘em & cut ‘em
But they just grow back like weeds

I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
I’ve got the Skin Tag Blues
They’re all over my feet
That’s why I don’t like wearin’ shoes
Skin Tag Blues
Skin Tag Blues
There’s nothin’ I can do
‘bout these Skin Tag Blues

There’s nothin’ I can do
‘bout these Skin Tag Blues

January 1, 2021

Went Against Their Wishes

They thought something was off with him
The moment he walked in and he met them
His cold hands, the calculated stares,
They were all Republicans, he was a Dem

They didn’t like his condescending tone
And his liberal freethinking ways
He was a Black Lives Matter supporter
And he believed in civil rights for Gays

And he loved her
She loved him, too
They couldn’t do anything
And she knew
It was freaking them out
She found him in the nick of time
Her partner in crime
Who ended up sleeping with the fishes
‘Cause he went against their wishes
Oooooh he went against their wishes

They said her and him should move closer
After they got married, it was 2 months later
But he got seriously hurt in an accident
Her lack of empathy made him hate her

As he was healing, she packed their things
All their wedding gifts, stuff they could take
They left their two dogs behind with friends
It was a journey they couldn’t make

And he loved her
She loved him as well
But could they be a good team
Only months could tell
It was freaking them out
Got a flat in Gallup, New Mexico
How was he to know
He’d end up sleeping with the fishes
‘Cause he went against their wishes
Oooooh he went against their wishes

When he said no
The family got pissed
Except one who planned it all
They rolled the dice he kissed
He had a way to combat them
It was covert and mean
It was the perfect plan
He’d create a big scene

Cause he loved her
She loved him as well
They all were quite a team
Her parents were holding the bell
He was freaking them out
They got rid of everyone he told
But he gave his attorney a note
Saying he went against their wishes
He might end up sleeping with the fishes
All cause he went against their wishes

Now he’s on a ship out in the West Indies
Mopping up the deck and cleaning dishes
All cause he went against their wishes
Oooooh he went against their wishes

December 30, 2020