Adult Themes, Ballad, Country Song, Inspired by People, Introspective, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Optimism, Piano Song, Relationships, Romance, Wistful, Women, Young Love

Country Girl

She’ll have bright eyes
And highlighted hair
That girl will be kind
And will treat me fair

I like a good ol’ gal
Who likes to have fun
She’ll be my best pal
But she’ll be the one

Who’ll go out on the dance floor
With her girlfriends in the bar 
In public she’ll be a sweetheart
At home she’ll be my superstar
I’ll take her anywhere for kicks
Even a carnival tilt a whirl
With a goofy grin on her face
Oh, but she’s gotta be a country girl
Yeah she’s gotta be a country girl

She’ll love her horses
At her Daddy’s farm
When we’re on the town
She’ll always take my arm

She’ll be sentimental
And share her fond memories
Of all the good times she’s had
With the sisters from her sorority

She’ll head out on the dance floor
All eyes’ll be on her from the bar 
Everywhere she’ll be a sweetheart
And she’ll be my superstar
I’ll take her anywhere for kicks
Even the Boardwalk tilt a whirl
With a goofy grin on her face
Oh, but she’s gotta be a country girl
Yeah she’s gotta be a country girl

Wearin’ those high rise jeans
And loves her broken in boots
She’s good friends with Mama
And she’s proud of her roots
Family’s important to her
And her friends are too
She’s obsessed with Leann Rimes
And her favorite song is “Blue”

She’ll out drink me at the bar
And she might be a pool shark
Everywhere she’ll be a sweetheart
But she won’t be a walk in the park
I’ll take her anywhere for kicks
Even a State Fair tilt a whirl
She’ll have a goofy grin on her face
Oh, but she’s gotta be a country girl

Yeah she’s gotta be a country girl

August 13, 2021
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Adult Themes, Americana, Bluegrass, Country Song, Funny, Hokum, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Optimism, Relationships, Romance, Snarky

Old-Money Man

She wanted an old-money man
one who wore a uniform
She wanted an old-money man
Someone who’d keep her warm
Someone who’d wear a silk tie
Someone who’d wear pricy suits
She wanted an old-money man
Not one who wore muddy boots

Well, I’m not an old-money man
I’m a denim and flannel guy
Yeah, I’m not an old-money man
I love sunsets and rhubarb pie
I love workin’ with my hands
and hangin’ at the corner bar
and I’d rather be drivin’ my truck,
than some fancy sports car

So, imagine my surprise
when I looked into her eyes
and she looked into mine
She decided right then n there
I was a breath of fresh air
and threw out all her vintage wine

Now, I’m not her old-money man
Turns out she’s a country girl at heart
Nah, I’m not her old-money man
Yes indeed, it’s ’til death do us part

Yeah, imagine her surprise
when she looked into my eyes
and I looked into hers
She chose me right then n there
I wasn’t rich, she didn’t care
We’re in for the better or worse

No, I’m not an old-money man
I’m a denim and t-shirt guy
Yeah, I’m not an old-money man
I love farming and apple pie
I love workin’ with my tools
and beers on Saturday night
and cuddlin’ on the couch
and livin’ just a normal life

Instead of livin’ in Boston or New York
We’re happy raisin’ kids on our land
And I’m grateful she chose me
Instead of some old-money man

Instead of some stuck up
old fart and old-money man

August 23, 2021

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Adult Themes, Ballad, Failed Relationships, Inspired by People, Inspired By Situations, Love, Lyrics, Marriage, No Music Yet, Old Wounds, Relationships, Romance, Wistful

Country Club Members

When I met her, I didn’t think I’d end up
being her boyfriend in the wings
She didn’t tell me she was married
She wasn’t wearing her wedding rings

It was out at the tennis courts
we were on a mixed doubles team
She had the scent of wild blueberries
It was like she stepped out of a dream

And boy, did I fall for her
We’d talk about everything
She listened to me
I listened to her
Thinking we’d end up to be
together for the rest of our life
I’d be her heroic husband
and she’d be my dreamy wife
as Country Club members
making bank like they all do
Then something happened
I got an urgent call from you

You knew her and her husband Jim
Turns out you were a mutual friend
I stood there while on my phone
And all I could do was think of when

We sat there in the sun getting lunch
And no one there said a damn word
Man, did I feel so hurt and taken
Man, did I feel like a big ol’ turd

Wow, did I fall for her
We’d talk about everything
She listened to me
I listened to her
Thinking we’d end up to be
together for the rest of our years
I’d be her heroic husband
through all our trials and tears
as Country Club members
like my parents and hers, too
You said you were with him
and found out he already knew

So I had a sit down with her at the club
We had a “Define the Relationship” talk
Then we kissed after it was all over
and went down to the beach for a walk

Boy, did I fall all over again
They didn’t have what we had
She was counting on me
I was counting on her
Planning out what we’d end up to be
Together for the rest of our life
I’d be her heroic husband
and she’d be my forgiven wife
as Country Club members
like my parents and hers, too
And you, Jim and her and I
could end up in love that’s true

Oh yes you, Jim and her and I
could end up in a love that’s true

August 20, 2021

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Love, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Power Pop, Punk Pop, Relationships, Romance, Young Love

Prove You Wrong

You don’t think I really love you
You think I’ve one foot out the door
You don’t think I really love you
You think I think you’re a bore

But I gotta say
Oh I gotta say
I bet I could prove you wrong
Yeah I’m gonna stay
Oh I’m gonna stay
That’s why I wrote you this song
In my heart you’ll still belong
I bet I could prove you wrong

You don’t see yourself with me
After all is said and done
You think I’ll meet somebody else
Who I’ll also tell she’s the one

But I gotta say
Oh I gotta say
I bet I could prove you wrong
Yeah I’m gonna stay
Oh I’m gonna stay
That’s why I wrote you this song
In my heart you’ll still belong
I bet I could prove you wrong

You can keep playing hard to get
But I will never give up on you
Yet you keep telling me I can’t
I can’t make your dreams come true

But I gotta say
Oh I gotta say
I bet I could prove you wrong
Yeah I’m gonna stay
Oh I’m gonna stay
That’s why I wrote you this song
In my heart you’ll still belong
I bet I could prove you wrong
I bet I could prove you wrong

I bet I could prove you wrong

July 19, 2021

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Adult Themes, Ballad, Country Song, Love, Lyrics, Naughty, No Music Yet, Relationships, Romance, Women, Young Love

She Knows How

She does the dishes
She folds the clothes
She manages the home
Dinner delights my nose
Oh, it’s plain to see
She knows how
To get a rise out of me

She picks up the kids
And doesn’t complain
She cuddles close
When it starts to rain
Oh, it’s meant to be
She knows how
To get a rise out of me

She loves her Mama
She loves her Daddy
When I’m in the rough
She’s my caddy
And she grabs my club
And tells me to
Put it in the hole
And I do, Hell yeah, I do…

When I’ve had enough
She brings me a beer
And she whispers softly
In my eager ear
Soon enough,
I’m flying free…
How does she know
How to get a rise out of me?

She sure knows how
To get a rise out of me

July 4, 2021

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Americana, Ballad, Inspired By Situations, Introspective, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Optimism, Patriotic, Relationships, Romance, Unrequited, Young Love

The Quiet Hearted Soldier

The wind blows her Carmel Valley hair
She sees me longing for her there
Oh but, I’m a soldier with a quiet heart

I’m the boy at the end of that night
Who’ll do all he can to treat her right
Who needs a little bit of a kick start

Like sincere words she won’t regret
A soothing smile taking on the bet
I’d kiss her back as we stand at her door

I hope she feels the same as me, oh
And if she does, I hope to see, and
Hear her say she’ll miss me when I go to war

It’s different now, guys are cruel, they’ll
Adore you in private, ignore you in school, and
don’t realize girls don’t like those games

They act like macho guys with their pals
Then are intimidated by the aggressive gals
On the phone, they mix up all their names

But she’s known me all those years
And I’ve never brought her to tears
Oh, I don’t want to see her break and cry

I hope she knows I want to be there, when
She’s feeling nobody shows they care
I’ll do what it takes, and she’ll know why

Those sincere words she won’t regret
That soothing smile taking on the bet
I’d kiss her back as we stand at her door

I hope she knows I’ll always feel the same and
dream of the day when she takes my name
And overjoyed when I come back from the war

So overjoyed when I come home from the war
So overjoyed when I come home from the war
For her husband, the quiet hearted soldier

June 11, 2021

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Autobiographical, Failed Relationships, Grief Song, Heartbreak, Inspired by People, Inspired By Situations, Love, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Old Wounds, Relationships, Romance, Wistful, Women, Young Love

She Almost Had Me There

She met me through my father
He mentioned I liked jazz bands, too
So she got in touch with me one day
Going out seemed like the thing to do

We went to see Wally and his band
We took a day trip down to Santa Cruz
Hit the coasters, ate some corn dogs
Love seemed effortless to choose

She almost had me there
She almost tugged me closer to her chest
She almost could have been my girl now
Oh how I thought she’d stay the best
My friends were surprised and I was too
We dated longer than other girls they knew
When she said it was over, truth is I cared
Cause she almost had me there

I took her to a couple weddings
Of good friends of mine back then
I had been thinking of getting serious
It really was just a matter of when

We shared incredible chemistry
We bought each other cute little rings
To remind us of the love we shared
And we got each other things

Yeah she almost had me there
She almost tugged me closer to her chest
She almost could have been my girl now
Oh how I thought she’d stay the best
My friends were surprised and I was too
We dated longer than other girls they knew
When she said it was over, truth is I cared
Cause she almost had me there

We almost could have done it
Sealing the deal just wasn’t in the deck
And when I drove home after the breakup
I was an absolute fucking wreck

I was listening to a tape by Matthew Sweet
Singing about some fictional romance
I remembered when we saw Indigo Swing
She kissed me sweetly during that dance

Yeah she almost had me there
She almost tugged me closer to her chest
She almost could have been my girl now
Oh how I thought she’d stay the best
My friends were surprised and I was too
We dated longer than other girls they knew
When she said it was over, truth is I cared
Cause she almost had me there

Yeah she almost had me there
Yeah she almost had me there
Oh, she almost had me there
Yeah she almost had me there

May 31, 2021

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Autobiographical, Hokum, Inspired by an Article, Introspective, Lyrics, Naughty, No Music Yet, One Night Stands, Romance, Satire

Grinding the Corn

t took me a long while
To understand how to do it right
Like a younger boxer
Who’s training hard for a fight

I didn’t learn it from a book
It was from experience & porn
Then I finally got the hang
Of grinding the corn

I had lots of partners
They lost their patience with me
I didn’t have what they needed
To be comfortable and free

Until I started comprehending
I had to poke it like a thorn
Then she was hot and bothered
From grinding the corn

Grinding the cord
Is harder than it seems
It’s easier to do it
When you’re having wet dreams
Grinding the corn
Has nothing to do with food
But once you master the process
It’ll put your woman in a better mood

I can’t tell you how to do it
You’ll have to learn on your own
But you can’t be soft or timid
You’ve gotta be hard as a stone

You’ve gotta keep your goal in mind
Until she blows that mighty horn
Then you both will get great sleep
After grinding the corn

So keep at it, you’ll eventually master
The art of grinding the corn

Memorial Day Weekend, 2021

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Americana, Inspired by a Place, Inspired by College, Jazz, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Optimism, Piano Song, Relationships, Romance, Young Love

Wallet In The Snow

Found a wallet in the snow
Opened it up and I saw the ID
She was born in the Summer
I was so reckless and free
Her name was Jennifer Ann
Her home base was Evanston
She must have come down
To have drinks and some fun

With college friends in town
Her bank card was in there
And so was one for a library
It was missing, I knew she'd care
On a receipt was a phone number
Of a person named Chris
So I decided to call her up and
The conversation went like this;

The reason why I’m calling
Is because of somethin’ I found
I’d like to talk to Jennifer
Is she still around?
Chris said she left this mornin’
And said she’d get it to her ASAP
she was headin’ up there Thursday
Then Jennifer would be happy

So Chris called up Jennifer
She said it was dropped outside
Jenny then called me to say
When she found out, she cried 
I dropped it off at Chris’ place
And thought that was that
But she invited me inside
Chris wanted to have a chat

We talked for a long time
Turns out they were related
They were cousins & best friends
She said they were frustrated
Chris didn’t have her ID, so
They walked to the liquor store
For beer and snacks, you know
They later passed out on the floor

I said I’ve gotta get back to work
She said hey, what do you do?
I told her I was an Lyft driver
She said oh, I could pay you
For a ride up there Thursday
We could all go out for a drink
It’s the least she and I could do
She’d like to meet you, I think
 
And I can’t believe I said yes
That Chicago night was the best

Because Jen brought a girlfriend
Who I hit it off with so well
And the whole thing was fate
How I loved dating sweet Michelle
It all worked out, we got engaged
Jen & Chris were her bridesmaids
Now I work at her father’s law firm
‘Cause I graduated with good grades

Just so now all of you know
What can happen when you return
That found wallet in the snow
What a lovely lesson to learn
You could meet the love of your life
When you return that wallet you found
Oh I’m so happy I returned that random
girl’s wallet I fatefully found
In front of that liquor store in the snow
In front of that liquor store in the snow

February 7, 2021
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